There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
