So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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