had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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