I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
