Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize