I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
