I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
