I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I fill condoms, not promises.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
