i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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