I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
