brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
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I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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