His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
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It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize