Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
