I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
