Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
