Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
