the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
