Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
