we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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