Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
