somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Randomize
