The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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