He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
