Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize