So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
