Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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