So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
