And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
