I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
