You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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