Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
