I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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