im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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