That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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