ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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