New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Are we still banned from the library?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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