Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
