What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you will always have a special place in my vag
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
