Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
