i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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