I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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