so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
