I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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