I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
