Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
