oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
