I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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