have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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