at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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