How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
