Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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