she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
