You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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