I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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