is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
