actually, I'm a sock model
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
he fucked my hip out of place.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
