maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
