Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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