Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
