Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Come see our sink grown plant.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
