What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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